10 Golden Rules: How to Criticize with Kindness

10 Golden Rules: How to Criticize with KindnessSometimes we wonder: why do some people first take an interest in our opinion, and then take offense at our assessment? Often this leads to conflicts, mutual frustration, and sometimes we even cease to communicate with colleagues or friends.

That the criticism was constructive, increased your authority, that to you listened and consulted with you, use the rules.

1. Do not criticize, but give feedback
Start with positive comments, from what you really liked. Be sincere. After comment, what would you do differently.

2. Do not let the negative emotions
Go to criticism only in a calm state. Otherwise, there is a great risk of moving to individuals, and this leads to resentment and conflict.

3. Try to be benevolent
Smile, speak in a calm, even voice, in which case the interlocutor will likely listen to your words.

4. Avoid accusatory tone
Replace the phrase “You did wrong” with the words “I think it had to be done differently”.

5. Do not compare with others, but recommend a useful experience
Suppose you say, “You did not succeed, but Mr. X coped with the task!” Such a comparison, first, does not give anything to the interlocutor, and secondly, undermines his faith in himself. It is more constructive to construct a conversation like this: “Mr. X was engaged in a similar project. In his blog, he described the experience and mistakes made during the work. Maybe you should read his blog? Surely there will be a lot of useful. ”

6. Evaluate the action, not the person
Feel the difference between the phrases “There are incorrect data in your report” and “You are so inattentive that you have made a lot of mistakes in the report”.

7. Do not discount the efforts of others
Try to stand in the place of the interlocutor, imagine how much energy and energy he has invested in what you are now evaluating. This will help to become kinder to him.

8. Structure the assessment
Confusion and a large amount of information will not help convey your thoughts. Speak clearly and in the case. This will give credibility to the evaluation, and the interlocutor will listen to it.

9. Do not harm
It happens that we unconsciously seek to disappoint another. For example, you see that a colleague, friend or acquaintance did something brilliant. He himself is sure of this and expects that you will praise him. Instead, you say: “In general, not bad.” Such an assessment, you at least spoil your interlocutor with an uplifting mood, as a maximum, undermine your faith in yourself.

The reason for this behavior is envy. Try to do otherwise: first, be above envy, admire the work. Secondly, let the envy motivate you to new achievements and self-improvement.

10. Reassure whoever you criticize
It is important to end the criticism on a kind word, so as not to discourage the interlocutor from consulting with you or doing anything.

Constructive criticism brings together and becomes a source of personal growth for both the speaker and the one who is criticized. Dialogue is the source of new experience, knowledge and a way to find common interests. Criticizing with meaning and good intentions, you create a solid base for partnerships.

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